Divine Graffiti

Thoughts on spirituality, motherhood and just about anything else that floats my boat.

Politics Schmolotics September 28, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — divinescribble @ 4:49 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Okay, I’m still sick of the whole thing. Scroll down for my Alexander post for the back story. I’m truly tired of looking at their faces.

I watched some of the debate between the Senators the other night and I was left wondering how anyone can determine a winner in these things? It often seems so childish and stunted. I mean, I get the need for Lehr to moderate or they’d be smashing each other with folding chairs, but let them talk for awhile without a buzzer going off! I’d just love to see the candidates actually sit and have an adult conversation/debate/argument/discussion across a pub table with a plate of fries and a coupla beers. If they can’t pull that off without resorting to rudeness, then neither of them get to run for Prez. and we’re back to the beginning again! Frankly, I’d like an adult mature person in the White House.

I make pro and con lists for everything, so I’ve made them for the candidates and their running mates. None of it is deep or philosophical and none of it has much to do with their policies.
OBAMA/BIDEN PROS:
First Black man to get a majority nomination for President. What an accomplishment! This guy has tenacity and fight in him. Obama is eloquent, confident and pretty darn good looking too! He wraps you around his little finger and makes you want to listen to him. He has a way of wooing people into trusting him. He says so many of the right things at a time when American people need all the hope they can get. His biggest PRO is that he is SO NOT GEORGE BUSH!! (I remember feeling like the total outsider in my church when I didn’t vote for Bush and now I have to say PFFTT!! to that.) Biden’s not too bad on the family responsibility end of things either.
OBAMA/BIDEN CONS:
I know nothing about Biden except that he’s fairly wealthy and doesn’t like to donate his money too much. Obama’s biggest con in my book is that he has a way of wooing people into trusting him. He says so many of the right things at a time when American people need all the hope they can get. That’s kinda scary.  He plays the race card an awful lot. It seems that when the race topic comes up, it’s always from the Obama camp and not the McCain camp. Makes me go “hmmm”.

MCCAIN/PALIN PROS:
Seasoned politician and veteran who has a history of wanting to serve his country the best way he knows how. He’s not a young whippersnapper with a lot of heady ideology; he’s got some experience on him. Palin, obviously, the first woman to get this close to the White House and that’s pretty cool in my book. She’s pretty, smart and otherwise unafriad to talk. I sense real authenticity in her and I think she and I would get along really well! We’re both kinda opinionated and “no nonesense” ladies. I think that without Palin, McCain would be floundering and with her, he’s got a great publicity edge and a sense of youth that otherwise is lost.
MCCAIN/PALN CONS:
May as well vote for GB again and again and again. I am not crazy about the conservative view on the war or their financial package. I’m also terrifed at the thought of Palin being President, which is quite literally possible should McCain not make it through. I just don’t think she’s ready. Her biggest con for me though is the idea of splitting family and work. I am ALL IN FAVOR of working mothers, but as one, I know that there is often a choice between work and family. If she is like any mother I know well, she’ll chose work over family. I don’t want that choice to affect my future. I’m not concerned she’ll neglect her kids; she’ll neglect her job. (She looks great in the jeans she wore in Philly though!).

All that to say I think the whole thing is a load of rhetoric. All the talk, the policies and debates. All the promises, speeches and handshakes boil down to a bunch of bull*$!@ hot air. There is no way anyone could live up to the expectations placed on these people and our futures hang in their hands rather precariously.

Personally, I’d vote in a heartbeat for an OBAMA/PALIN ticket!!!

But…I don’t really care. I’m visiting the Mexican embassy to obtain my passport and new ID. It won’t matter much then. I’d rather live anywhere than here right now.

 

I’m Going to be a Nun until August 22nd August 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — divinescribble @ 6:57 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

At which time, I’ll revert fully to my loud mouthed, politically incorrect, workin’ mamma mode.

Until then I am preparing for a vacation in Kingston Ontario where I will stalk Dan Akyroyd on my brother-in-law’s motorcycle, drink beer outside at a great bar, cook gourmet food in my sister-in-law’s kitchen and generally blow myself way outta Dodge!!!!!

I am overwhelmed right now with this spiritually heavy heart that I have. There’s no way to describe it unless you belong to a select few friends who have lived through this with me before. Then it’s called “Audrey’s Bizarreness”.  So much of I see in my little world has me on the edge of my soul’s seat and I’m not sure I’m emotionally equipped at the moment to deal with it.  I’ll have to deal sometime; this thing doesn’t usually let go until I do.

But, I figure nuns have it pretty good:

1. They can stay quiet and no one wants to know why.

2. They can chant at random times and it means something.  It means something to God and that’s all that matters.

3. They have cool head gear! Covers up all the questions about when they last got the highlights touched up.

4. They never have to have sex.

5. They don’t have to worry about what to wear.

6. They all have the names given to them by the Order instead of their parents which is decidedly cool.

 

No respect meant to the Sisters of the world, but lately I’ve been wondering if I wouldn’t benefit from a week away in the company of silence. Yes, you’re right, I’d go completely bonkers!!!  But my spirit might settle and get some clarification before I’m done.

I’ll check with Dan while I’m up north.

 

Children Of the Dump July 31, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — divinescribble @ 9:06 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

Today I got an email through Facebook from an old friend that I grew up with in Hong Kong. He’s someone that I have often thought of but I haven’t seen or spoken to in nearly twenty years. I knew he’d be involved in helping others; something we both learned by watching our parents work as missionaries in Hong Kong.

He turned me on to a project of his; personally and professionally. 

After watching the clip he sent, I am again reminded how easy my life is.  How do I sit around in my comfy chair, making money and eating fat food while beautiful people live in a place constructed out of the things others threw away?

This isn’t a new thought for me, nor is it foreign for me to help others.  But, it is so easy to get sucked in to the materialistic American dream and wish for the stars that will benefit me the most.  I showed the clip to Andy and he too was moved. I forgot to mention to him that watching this made me want to sell my huge house and move somewhere cheap so all my money, energy and resources could be put into making the lives of children in this world a little more tolerable.

Not far away from the homes of the children living in this dump are resorts, gourmet restaurants, beaches and relaxation. Do any of these children know that life?  How dare we sit around and whine that we don’t have enough?

I want to thank Derek Williams for sharing this with me. I hope he don’t mind that I share it with you.

Check out this clip:

www.operationquad.org

 

Eat, Pray, Love June 29, 2008

Filed under: Bible, Christianity, Faith, child, family, love, religion — divinescribble @ 9:07 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

I just finished reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Eat, Pray, Love.  The story of her year long adventure through Italy, India and Bali.

I wish I had her time, patience, energy, money and scrap paper on which to write this epic journey.  I found myself jealous of her at every turn; she’s my age, dammit….why can’t I go to Bali????

But I think she has it backwards.

My book would be Pray, Love, Eat.

Prayer first. My life would be  nothing without the Divine communication I have with my God and the daily and hourly talks we have. Prayer must come first.  I cannot imagine my life or my existence without the Holy Divine, the Mysterious Spirit or the manifestation of Christ in my life. Prayer first.

Love next.  Without prayer, my love for my life, my family, my children and my husband would not exist.  Let’s get real…my love life with my husband would not exist.  Contraray to Gilbert’s experience, I make love to a man that I’ve been married to for 15 years.  I didn’t go to Bali to meet him (although Bali is an amazing place, my experiences in Penang being close to it).  My love for him and the physical we share gets deeper by the year.

Sex, (yes, people, Mennonite women have sex and like it) would not be the experience that it is.  My husband is the one ONE I have devoted my heart to and the only one to whom I’ll ever give my heart, soul and body.  The communion of two committed people has no comparison.  It might not happen as often as he’d like (I’m a sleepy chick most times) but it’s all very, very good when it does….and the prayer is part of it. God placed us together without question.

Then, the Eat part.

Come on, ladies…are you not hungry at all?  After sex I’m almost always hungry! Gilbert’s book did more for my hunger than anything. Eating Pizza, spaghetti, rotini and drinking a great bottle of Merlot at the same time is my idea of a complete evening!  Eating my way through Italy is a fantasty I’ll entertain for many years!  The first part of her book made me want to run away and just CHOW!!!

All that to say, Gilbert’s book is fantastic.  Her frank and humble admissions of vulnerability were refreshing. Not often does a woman my age admit that perfection is not in her repertoire.  I want everyone I know to read this book.  I can’t say I’d subscribe to her theology or lifestyle, but I do think that her independance and desire for truth are admirable.

I’m jealous she ate her way through Italy.

I wish I had the stamina and persistance to get up at dawn and pray through a yoga session. Her persistance in finding a higher power and spiritual grounding should be applauded.

I am not at all envious of her love though.  I have an amazingly committed man who for 15 years has put up with my crap and dealt with my foibles.  He’s watched me be pregnant, give birth and drool on my pillow. He’s watched me succeed and fail. He’s seen me sober and drunk. He’s fluctuated thirty pounds with me and moved house seven times.  I’ve had three babies and he still thinks I’m hot. He knows when my “time of the month” is approaching and he’s figured out how to make me smile.  He puts gas in my car and makes coffee at six.  He’s cut his ponytail and trimmed his beard, but he’s still the man I love. 

Eat Pray Love!  ????

No way!!!

Love, Love and Love.

The rest comes along as a side effect.

 

Alexander and the Terrrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Campaigns May 14, 2008

Filed under: family — divinescribble @ 8:29 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I DECIDED TO STICK THIS ONE ON THE FRONT FOR AWHILE:

I THOUGHT IT WOULD TACK THIS ONE TO THE FRONT PAGE AGAIN SINCE IT STILL APPLIES!

I went to sleep with ick on my tongue after reading another great news story about Barak Obama in Newsweek and now there’s ick on my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I dropped my sweater in the sink while there was toothpaste in the bottom and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad campaign day. 

At breakfast, I found another great Hilary story on the news. My son found a cool Sponge Bob sticker in his breakfast cereal box and my daughter couldn’t open her eyes long enough to eat her breakfast cereal. No Child Left Behind has these kids exhausted from taking tests. My breakfast cereal bowl is empty. At $4.00 a gallon, we can’t drink milk.

I think I’ll move to Australia.

In the car pool lane, some guy honked at me cause I drive a big SUV and guzzle gas at 12 MPG. He might have made rude hand gestures. The Prius in front of me had a license plate that read MPG-50. Good for him! He can’t fit in the seat…but GOOD FOR HIM!  The other Prius I saw had a plate that read BOO OPEC! I like that one. I said I was getting hot. I said I was getting mad. I said I was getting smushed between OPEC, George Bush, Digital Cable and reality shows! I said, GET A GRIP PEOPLE!! No one even answered.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad campaign day.

At work my boss liked my secretary’s idea for cutting costs and going greener by emailing customers instead of snail mailing them better than he liked my idea for cutting costs and going greener by working two days a week instead of five. At lunch time, he thought I ate too many carbs. At break time he wouldn’t let me take a break and at quitting time he wouldn’t say goodbye. Who needs goodbye?

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad campaign day.

I could tell, because after work, I counted 42 McCain signs in one front yard, and 67 Obama signs down by the Mission and 76 Hilary signs on the highway. Ron Paul had a couple crumpled, wrinkled paper flyers near the mall too. I don’t know what he looks like, but they like him in Australia. I said, When will all these stupid signs die? I said, I don’t care who wins, I want my TV back. I hope you sit on a tack, I said to all four of them. That way I could really tell who the real person running for president was. You can’t sit on a tack without a good reaction. I hope the next time you eat a triple cheese jalapeno tofu taco at a restaurant in Arkansas while you’re campaigning away, the taco part falls off and lands in Australia.

There were six solicitations for Credit Cards in my mailbox and my husband got a call from a creditor in India and my mother said she can’t retire cause Social Security ran out yesterday. Guess who forgot to pick up the kids at day care today?

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad campaign day.

That’s what it was, because after supper my husband said we had to move. Our mortgage payments can’t be made and the sheriff will be here tomorrow. The sale is Saturday, so I better clean. I hate to clean. Call me tomorrow and we’ll fix it said Countrywide. Yeah, right, I said.  Tomorrow, I said, I’m moving to Australia.

On the way to bed, the phone rang and some lady in Minnesota asked me if I was voting for Obama. I’m moving to Australia I said. She hung up. Maybe I’ll vote for Hilary. I started crying because the phone bill is too high, the oil prices are killing my budget and I want to go on vacation in my gas guzzling SUV. My best friend called me a crybaby and when I was punching her for saying crybaby, a cop showed up and served me with papers that said my electric, cable, phone and water was shut off cause I can’t afford to live here anymore.

I’m having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad campaign day, I told everyone. No one even answered.

Hilary said nothing about my oil bill except she’d give me $30 this summer for gas.

Obama said she was nuts and I should just suck it up.

McCain says nothing about nothing and just dittos every remark Bush makes.

Ron Paul needs some new signs and a TV ad.

So then we went to the grocery store to buy some food. Joey wanted Salmon, Cindy wanted Ice Cream and Junior wanted Brie. I can’t buy those things. The salmon doesn’t run anymore, we’ve killed their water way. Ice Cream takes milk and that’s too expensive and Brie….what four year old wants Brie? We bought cereal. They sell that in Australia.

They can make me buy it, but they can’t make me eat it.

When we picked up my drycleaning they told me they couldn’t get all the stains out. They said to leave them alone; they’re busy going out of business. I was careful as could be except for my mouth which yelled at them for selfishly taking care of themselves, when consumers like me can’t stand to do laundry! My husband said don’t go there anymore.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad campaign day.

There was nothing but take out for dinner and I’m sick of take out.

Fifty versions of Law and Order on Tv and I hate murder.

My bath didn’t happen and I got a bug in my eye when I took out the trash for the guy who might show up if the township renewed his contract. I had to wear my flannel jammies to bed again cause we can’t afford the heat bill and I hate my flannel jammies.

When I went to bed I couldn’t sleep. My husband told me to chill out and not worry. The sheriff’s a really nice guy after all.

The dog wants to sleep in the hallway, not guard the door.

I’m going to write in Jesse Ventura.

My dad shook hands with Obama today. He’s so excited he doesn’t want to wash his hand.

I said, Dad, some days are like that.

Even in Australia.

 

 This post is satirical in nature and not intended to offend. The book I reference has been my favorite children’s book for over a decade and I own multiple copies. I apologize to the publishers, authors and readers for any violations they may feel I have committed.

I am simply frustrated with our current political campaigns and had to let it out in a way that I felt might make it humorous, light hearted and simply real.

 

The Sign of the Cross March 10, 2008

Filed under: Bible, Faith, bedtime, children, cross, family, jesus, prayer, sign of the cross, sleep — divinescribble @ 10:34 am

 

I wrote this little blurb for myself about two years ago. (My aforementioned soon to be teenage son was then ten years old).  Sorry, it’s outdated, but still true.

        As I tucked my ten-year-old son in to bed last night, he did a weird thing. With closed eyes and sleepy limbs he seemed to wave his hands over his stomach and chest before he pulled the covers up. There was something very deliberate about it though and it took me a minute to figure out what he was doing. I stood and stared for a minute before I asked him,

“Do you do that every night?”          

“Yes,” he replied. “I always do that. It helps me feel safe.”         

It seems that my most profound moments with this child are when he is half asleep. This is the same boy who sat and talked to God at the foot of his bed when he was yet in diapers. And last night, he did something so simple yet so subconsciously that I wondered how often and how long he had been doing it.  It is apparently part of his bedtime ritual, performed with the fog of sleep closing in, yet so meaningful to him.          

He was crossing himself. Making the sign of the cross over his body to protect him from harm and notify the world that he is the child of God.           

When will I be so entrenched in my relationship with Jesus, that even in my sleep I invite him to be with me? When will it be second nature to me to call out to him, rather than a last resort when all my attempts otherwise fail?            

When will I ever learn?

 

Week One Down February 1, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — divinescribble @ 2:55 pm

Well, one week later and we’re doing okay. I made the decision to cut back my work schedule in order to be available more at home. It was a simple decision, but not an easy one. It impacts a lot of people in various ways; not all good ones.

 The therapists are here every other day to help Andy’s dad with his continuing needs. In between their visits, he still does whatever he wants. I guess we just have to learn to be very patient with him as he is acclimating. He’s used to doing everything his way.  It’s hard to give up control.

 

Women in Leadership pt 2. November 25, 2007

Filed under: Bible, Christianity, discrimination, feminism, religion, women preacher — divinescribble @ 9:25 pm

annointed.jpgannointed.jpgannointed.jpgannointed.jpgannointed.jpgannointed.jpgannointed.jpgannointed.jpg

So, let’s get back to this for a second. I need to preface this by stating most of what I write is merely opinion and personal thought, not backed by real support. For that, I rely on others who actually have the time to think about it deeply.  I don’t spend much time dwelling on this subject as it pertains to the church as a whole. I care about it because it pertains to me as an individual woman and just might affect my life a little. Yes, that’s shallow and selfish. I’m okay with that.

First, we need to differentiate between women in “leadership” and women in “ministry.”  Women have been ministers as long as we have recorded church history. Face it, it took a woman to bring Christ to life in human form, didn’t it? In the early church women were part of the gang.  In England, the queen was head of state, therefore, head of church on some level. We have deaconesses in our church. (No deacons in sight though which is a little puzzling.) We also have a woman elder. No one yet has called her an “elderess”. Good thing too, it sounds like the name for an itch inducing weed on the forest floor.

I have always imagined the deaconess role in our church to be a little bit of a softer, gentler thing. It takes an amazingly special and patient person for this (and we’ve got two of those). From my limited knowledge, she functions much like the pastor’s wife (no offense, mother) in assuming counseling roles and general relationship building things. Driving people to appointments, visiting the sick, praying with people who need that touch. She also gets to assemble and disassemble the communion table and wash all those silly little plastic cups we use. Wahoo! So, would a deacon do those things? I doubt it. He’d be too busy working out why the toilet in the women’s room downstairs is still “out of order” and other more manly things. Or would he?

Then, there’s our woman elder, who is a wise and wonderful lady. Involving herself with lofty and weighty decisions regarding the church. Voting, alongside the men, on churchy stuff that impact everyone.  Along with the deaconesses and the rest of the leadership team, these ladies have just a little bit of influence on what we do.

We also allow a woman to lead worship in our church.  She gets to help decide the tone of the whole service and what people will be singing as they leave. That’s a mighty powerful position to be in.

So, why is it so dang hard to take the leap to allowing a woman to preach? Oh, wait….we have had that happen! I forgot about that. It’s not often, but it does occur.

Gosh, now it’s getting more complicated.

I guess the thing we’re really stuck on is not “leadership” but “authority.”  Yikes! There’s a big difference there, my friends. Many toes could be trampled if we allowed a woman to actually have authority over all of the aforementioned proceedings.

I don’t know yet what I personally feel is the right thing to do.  What I want and what is right are often two entirely different things. Prayerful questioning of God on this one hasn’t actually helped me yet. It has left me more confused. I can’t yet get a clear picture from either my conversations with Him or reading what others think. 

I also can’t let go of the feeling that, as somewhat of an opinionated strong-willed woman, to say “no” to women in authority is to shut myself down a little.

 

Women in Leadership November 5, 2007

Filed under: Bible, Christianity, discrimination — divinescribble @ 9:50 pm

This is one topic of discussion that is littered with emotion and the potential for argument from all sides. It is also a topic of discussion uppermost in the thoughts of many in the Mennonite church.  How much responsibility should women have in the church? What should they be allowed to teach and should they ever be allowed to preach? Can they be ordained and remain firmly within what the early church taught about women’s roles?  Should they be quiet or loud? Should they sit in the same pew with men? Should they show up at all? I could go on and on and my personal feelings change about every other minute on this one.

I don’t like the words “Women in Leadership” but this is the “buzz phrase” surrounding women’s roles.  Women have always been in leadership in one place or another. I think the thing people really want to call it is “Women as Ordained Preachers Whom Have Authority and Can Tell Men What God Wants Them to Do.”  Blech!  On one had, who cares?  On the other hand, many people do and I suppose it is important.

I am going to begin discussion on this subject on this blog by just throwing out the arguments I have with myself in my head and then as the weeks go on, I’ll break it down a little bit and add some real concrete theory to it.

For a while I came at this from a purely feminist point of view.  Women and men have equal opportunity in all other areas of life (at least we pretend they do).  Why not allow women the right to be ordained if they are led by God into that role? For so long, women were oppressed by the church, held down and confined to hearing from their husbands what God said rather than learning for themselves. I think this is quite true today in some churches, Amish and Mennonite among others. That angered me and I saw the refusal to ordain women in the Mennonite church as one more way men control what we say and do.

But that’s where my feminist attitude basically ended. I believe women should have equal rights in politics, voting and career opportunities. I believe they should be paid what men are for the same jobs performed. I believe women can and should lead companies, organizations and countries.  I also believe many women lead their families more effectively than men. A cultural shift over the past 50 years has, out of necessity, forced women into roles that they may not have considered before. Men have largely given up on heading households. Some are absent in body, some in spirit and some never were present to begin with. Thus the idea that we are created equal to men; we fill the same shoes they do.

But, I don’t think we should whine and moan anymore.  Those women who hold high the feminist flag and declare war on men and their attitudes are simply grasping for something to make them feel more important.  Women whose credo is “I am woman!” also tend to think they don’t need any help with anything from men. It’s them against the world and men be damned. Although that may be the extreme, the undercurrent of woman against the world runs through all women’s thoughts at one time or another. When a woman is told she can’t be in “leadership” it raises her hackles and in her mind she has no rights at all.  All bad feelings towards male authority suddenly lump together in one single moment.  Think about it. It is not a group of female bishops or elders that are saying we can’t be ordained. It’s a bunch of men.

When we’re done whining, I’d like us women to stop and think for a minute about how equally created we really are.

We are not the same in any way, shape or substance.

Our brains work differently. We talk and talk and focus on words. Men are more focused on images and concrete ideas. We bring entirely different approaches to the discussion table.We are the softer sex. Let’s face it. Let’s enjoy that!

Our physical bodies are completely different, yet we try so hard to look as strong and manly as possible. We get the privilege of giving birth and nursing babies. We have boobs and they don’t. Ha ha!!!  Men, on the other hand, are generally stronger. It has actually occurred to me that if Andy died, I’d have to stop buying Smucker’s jelly in jars since I can’t open them myself. That’s okay. We are made physically to meet each other and mold together. Let’s celebrate that!

Should women preach? I’m still thinking about that one. Today, I say “yes” with a few contingencies thrown in. I am, in fact, related to a woman preacher.  I’ll further pull this one apart laer.

 

What is Safe to Say November 4, 2007

Filed under: Change, Christianity, religion — divinescribble @ 2:54 pm

Again, my writing fairy left for awhile. No, really I just ran out of time and energy to do much except work, sleep and sleep. I have been chided more than once because I haven’t put thoughts to page so I’m making a real effort to write something every few days now. It’s a discipline as much as a passion, I guess.

One reason I haven’t blogged much is that I am afraid of what I might say. There has been so much I wanted to write, but was afraid for fear of hurting people around me or causing someone somewhere to wonder at my sanity. At the tip of my brain are thoughts that are quite personal in nature and nothing else has gotten through.

 How much is safe to say? I have a few vents to indulge in, but they will tread on some toes, I fear, and that is not my purpose. I write in order to process thoughts as much as to share them; hard to tell sometimes which one it is. I will say that over the past six months I have thoroughly changed my mind on a few “small” issues that were once quite firm in my life. Or rather, I changed my mind long ago, only now I am living a little differently than I did because I finally engaged my thoughts and allowed them to become real. 

As I write this morning, my church is congregated and likely in the middle of worship time. (I am at home with what was supposed to be a sick kid.)  I would love to be a fly on the wall in the sanctuary right now. I wish I had Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak and could sit down next to some people and hear what they whisper to one another. I know a little of what today’s service includes and I wonder how political it’s going to get. Is church the proper place for political outcry and what amounts to demonstration (albeit privately) or is it a place for worship? Hmmm.

We’ll see what Andy shares when he gets home. And, Leon, Hiya! I’m back.