Life is Not Fair
13 Nov 2007 2 Comments
in discrimination, fairness, forgiveness
Change the subject for a minute.
My child’s heart was broken yesterday. Shattered and torn apart. Every room I walk into is littered with pieces of it and desperate as I am, I can’t clean them all up. He experienced first hand what discrimination and disappointment feel like. He felt real injustice for the first time. That soul wrenching ache under a blanket of tears that confuses, confounds and defeats us when the world doesn’t spin exactly right. Punched in the gut and can’t breathe kind of crying.
His life was touched by grown ups acting like children. Grown ups who made seemingly insignificant decisions but impacted more than the basketball season. They forever changed the way my son looks at his peers. I see the light of realization dawning in his eyes as he begins to understand that some people get what they want by being born in the right place to the right people. Other people get what they want by smiling sweetly and making promises (sucking up) to others. Still others just simply bulldoze over smaller runts to get to the top.
Today at 2:40 I heard his trust fountain squeak shut a bit. It’s not fair, it sucks, I don’t understand. Squeak.
How do I explain the stupidity of selfishness to a child who, up until now, has trusted in equality? How do I keep him from losing sight of his own integrity if he sees others get the big prizes by manipulation? How do I get him to accept defeat graciously if the adults in his life can’t get a grip on that? How do I make him feel better?
Yesterday, my son’s heart was dropped and shattered. Today it’s mending but it will never quite fit the same again.
Yesterday he learned how tiny he is.
Take Me Out to the Ball Game!
04 Apr 2007 3 Comments
in baseball, birthdays, children, fairness, sports, spring, Uncategorized
At 3:00 a.m. yesterday, my middle child turned 8 years old. Although she didn’t feel it happen, a new year officially began in her life. When I saw her at the top of the stairs in the morning, she groggily said that she felt bigger…I told her she looked bigger.
I am amazed again at these little people in my life who aren’t so little most of the time anymore. Sometime ago they began to develop into creatures with opinions and personalities. Often these opinions are in direct opposition to mine and we have to learn to play fair together. That ain’t always easy on Mommy.
Spring also heralds the ball season at our house. Liam eats, sleeps and breathes baseball. He’s going to the college of his choice on a baseball scholarship. His best friend is going to have a football scholarship. Their proud parents are counting on that! But, first we must get through another season of Little League in the Conestoga Valley School District where only the best play! First night of practice is over; game season starts soon. I can’t wait! I love watching baseball games outside in the summertime. Cheering, screaming, hiding my eyes and silently cursing on occasion are all part of the deal. I have to learn to play fair with the other mommies, which ain’t always easy either. But, by the time we hit the majors, I’ll have all those kinks worked out.
We’d welcome any friends, family or fans to join us some Saturday for a great game of baseball! I’ll be posting updates on stats as we go along, so you’ll just have to bear with me. We’re playing for the Pirates again this year at the Minors level. Liam is pitching and catching and loving every minute of it!
Swing batter, batter!!!!
So You Say